It's the Holiday Season

One of the interesting things about my job, aside from getting to listen to Andy Williams sing "Happy Holidays" ten times everyday, is that very rarely an angy customer generates a great story. Most of the customer complaints I deal with are of the rather trite, throw away variety; however, yesterday i stumbled into a real whopper of a story .

It started with a phone call from one of my associates, asking me to come deal with an angry customer. I tend to get nervous when I get these calls because you never know just exactly what you are about to encounter. It could be a simple misunderstanding that is easy to clear up, or it could be an all-out customer v. associate cat fight compelte with hair pulling and eye poking. As I walked to the shoe department this time, I noticed immediately the woman whom I was about to confront; 5'7" tall with short,dark hair and thick-framed glasses. Oh yeah, and she's white.

She was standing in the aisle, leaning across the threshold that separates the tiled aisle form the carpeted sales floor, preparing to hurl her next insult at my staff. I walk toward her and begin speaking in the concilliatory tone I often take when first approaching an upset customer.

Me: Hello ma-

Lady: THEY SHOULD BE FIRED, ALL OF THEM THEY THEY DONT THEY ARE INTIMIDATED BY ME THEY DONT LIKE TO HELP BEAUTIFUL WHITE WOMEN

Me: Maam, please calm down. Is there something i can help with?

Lady: YES, FIRE ALL OF THE MEN ON YOUR STAFF

Innocent Customer: Will you shut up already? I'm tired of listening to you, you crazy bitch. You're making me mad, and I don't even work here.

Lady: WHAT THE WHO ARE YOU YOU DONT KNOW MY BUSINESS IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS WHY DONT YOU SHUT UP GET OUTTA MY FACE IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?

Me: Maam, can you tell me what happened?

Lady: I SHOP FOR SHOES AND ALL THE TIME I SHOP EVERYWHERE IT SEEMS ONLY IN SHOES BUT MEN DONT WANT TO HELP A BEAUTIFUL TALL WHITE WOMAN I DONT KNOW IF THEY ARE INTIMIDATED OR WHAT BUT THEY WOULDNT HELP ME HE SAID I ASKED FOR HELP AND HE SAID HE WAS WITH ANOTHER CUSTOMER AND I NEEDED TO WAIT AND THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ANY GOOD HERE IS THAT LITTLE DARK GIRL SHES GOOD AND THAT GUY TOO HE SAID HE WAS HELPING SOMEONE BUT HE WASNT HELPING SOMEONE AND HE IS INTIMIDATED I AM BEAUTIFUL YOU DONT LIKE HELPING BEAUTIFUL TALL WOMEN LIKE ME...

Anyway, this exchange went on for a minute or two before she finally decided that I was not going to fire all the men on my staff because she told me I should. And then, as if someone switched her off, she turned and walked out of the store. It's a shame really, because I was about 30 seconds away from kicking her out -- something that we almost never get to do, but I would have taken great pleasure in it. "And stay out of Woolworths!"