Frank Zappa and the Homosexual Gene

In case you missed it in 'a rollercoaster ride,' I came out to my family last week. I'm only about four years behind the rest of the world, but at lest I am Hypocrite no more. Everyone has a good story to tell from their first conversation with their parents, and like everything else in my love life, mine includes Drew.

What you may or may not know about Drew is that he owns a picture of Frank Zappa posing nude, except for a fig leaf covering his potentially morally reprehensible areas. This picture, while not ever actually hanging on the wall in any of our places, has always been dropped in an awkwardly common area. A couple years ago, when we first moved to the city of Ice, my parents stumbled (literally, it was on the floor next to the living room door) into this picture. My mom was under the mistaken impression that it belonged to me, and that is what first led her to believe that I might prefer the company of gentlemen.

Although there is nothing specifically gay about this photo, my parents having not heard of Frank Zappa assumed it was some bizarre gay sex picture. Which, taking into consideration my knowledge of Frank Zappa may be more accurate than I first implied. My mom was beyond relief when I explained that it was in fact Drew's poster, and that it in no way belonged to me. This did however make it harder to sound convincing when I explained that Drew is straight. A fact that my parents seemed to take harder than my own revelation. But who could blame them, they'd been transferring all the gay in me onto Drew for the past three years.

So does my humorous anecdote compare to Anne's mother's famous 'skin cancer' remarks, or her dad's innocent confusion of derogatory words for lesbians and people of the Jewish faith? Probably not, but I'm going with the material I have here.

All seriousness, my parents are brave people who took the news about as well as they could have. Way to go mom and dad. I should have told you much sooner. Peace.