Retail Defecation

David Sedaris has a good bit about retail defecation. I know it sounds strange, but if you ask anyone who has worked extensively in the field you will certainly hear an entertaining story. This kind of thing is usually attributed to either the very old or the very young. But occasionally a nice turd shoes up somewhere in the store thanks to one of our demented, malicious, or angry customers.

I bring this up because today a little boy pissed on one of the ottomans from the home department. It's no shit, but a coordinating separate if you will. Luckily we also sell a pet urine eliminator in the home department. A couple of spritzs and the ottoman was as good as new.

In other news of the bizarre, today our security team stopped a man trying to leave the store wearing a pair of pants he hadn't purchased. The man was very drunk, and could not remember where he put the pants he wore into the store. One of our supervisors had to search all the fitting rooms to try to find this man's pants. She couldn't. I didn't stick around to see the end of this story, but the image of our security team escorting a pant-less man out of the store is a good enough ending for me.