Snakes on a Building

Ben and I were standing in front of my building having a smoke the other day, when a guy who went to our high school walked up the steps and into my building. Neither of us were sure initially if it was him, so we didn't say anything. Then, as he was walking into my building, he looked back at us and caught a whiff of familiarity. He wasn't sure, so he checked us out one last time as he got into the elevator. It was us, he was him.

So there you have it. Some dude I went to high school with just moved into my building. Or perhaps he's been here longer than me.

Its f-ing snakes on a f-ing building!

Rumours on the Internets

I'm tired of surfing the web. At least I'm tired of my usual websites. A typical day in the life of Dave goes something like this: come home from work, check email to see who may have posted a comment on my bog (usually no one), check blogs of friends and acquaintences for updates, check to see who looked at my friendster profile today (usually no one), check to see who left me a message on gay.com (usually no one). Then I play online Jepopary until I get a category I've already seen -- which typically happens about the second game. Then I answer as if I'd never seen the exact same questions, check to see if anyone interesting is on IM or MSN (usually no one), and then its time for playstation baseball.

I've played well more than 120 games of playstation baseball in the past three months, and I'm sickj to death of it. But by gosh, I'm going to win that World Series if it takes my last breath.

Also, I saw the birth of a baby calf at the Minnesota State Fair this evening. It nearly brought me to tears until I realized just how lame that would make me. Nothing like seeing the hooofs(holves?) of a baby calf sticking out of mommy's vag for 20 minutes. It really makes a person want to poop.

This is Jeopardy!

One of the first things I ever became addicted to in the new age of the internets was online Jeopardy. I used to play when it was part of sony's game website- now defunct. But you can still play an online version of the game here.

I Just Got Mugged

For a cigarette butt.

Picture it. Minneapolis, 2006:

I'm walking down the street after a few drinks with friends. On the way home, I have to pass the local gas station which is a hot spot for local street trash. Usually they are harmless and kinda funny. For instance, the first guy I walked by asked me for money so he could buy a hot dog. When I told him I had no cash (the truth, I never have any cash), he asked me if I would go into the gas station and charge it. Then he smiled at me and looked for the next sucker.

The next guy wanted a drag off my lit cigarette. I'm ok with some community smoking, but not with just any dude hanging out on a street corner. So I politely declined his request. He started walking down the block with me. We walk for half a block with him repeatedly asking "Man, can I get a hit off that?." Finally, he stepped in front on me as if to say "Don't fuck with me or I'll cut you." But in the process of stepping in front of me, he bumped my hand holding the cigarette, and sent the cherry flying down onto his shirt. I'd already smoked nearly the whole thing, so when the cherry fell off I gave him what remained -- the butt with maybe half a drag of legitimate tobacco left to smoke.

He was either embarrassed about spreading burning ash all over himself, or satisfied with his conquest. He turned and walked back to his friends.

And I walked home without incident.

Deep in the Heart of Minnesota

The lights on the Target building are back to red tonight. For the past few weeks, they've been using a new earthy palette of browns, blues, and greens. It was very pretty. Tonight it's just solid red. No movement.

The Wedding Banquet

Last night was Assistant Store Manager Sarah's wedding reception. I was one of a handful of co-workers who attended; with Amy, Bossman Mike, and two general office workers rounding out the Southdale contingent. The highlight of the reception was most certainly the dinner --a ten course meal. Each course of which could well have been a full meal in and of itself. Soup, appetizers, stuffed crab claws, lobster, fried rice with shrimp & sausage, sesame chicken, deep fried walleye, beef with broccoli, fruit, and cake.

The downside of the evening was sitting with the whitest of whities at a predominantly Vietnamese gathering. Also, MB spilled a nearly full bottle of beer on me, even though I had warned her several times that she would do just that. I even moved the bottle no less than three times before I accidentally let my guard down and got drenched.

But good times.

Rick was along as well. He helped MB decorate the hall the day before, and was rewarded with a nice meal and an open bar. Which he fully utilized.

I was driving, after all.

We left the reception around 10:30 to head to the Saloon to meet one of Rick's friends who was celebrating his 29th birthday. Not much of interest happened, except for Rick continuing to drink. And drink... and drink some more. I was two drunk to drive him home by 2, so onto the couch he fell. At least temporarily. He ended up on the floor next to the couch sometime after I had gone to bed.

Having to work today, I woke up this morning with enough time to drop Rick off at home before driving to work myself. My usual morning routine doesn't involve the living room as such, so I decided to let Rick sleep until I was about ready to leave.

The first thing I noticed when finally walking into the living room was the smell. Then I saw the giant red spot on the carpet. How I do love sick. I'll spare you the details, but it's now been nearly 24 hours since to 'accident' and my apartment still smells of a nauseous mix of vomit and resolve carpet cleaner.

Who wants poppycock?

I apologize for the following inappropriate, poorly timed observation.

Putting photos of babies in your online personal profile is downright misleading.

Une vieille chanson, mais une bonne chanson

My international readers have complained about the recent Americanization of this here blog, so I now attempt to appease the homeland with this reworking of a popular folk song:

Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques
Dons ton cul, Dons ton cul
Il n'est pas un giraffe
Il n'est pas un giraffe
Elle est morte
Elle est morte

Also, I used to have a crush on my Lebanese born French instructor from university, Jean Pierre. He was so dreamy - I think I want to have his baby!

What ever happened to Class?

You know whom I miss? I miss Ira Flatow. For those readers who are not NPR junkies, Ira is the host of Talk of the Nation's 'popular' Science Friday. Every Friday afternoon from 1 until 3 Central Ira discusses the latest in science news from around the world.

Ira is especially frustrating for board operators across the public radio system because he never pauses at the appropriate cutaway times. Three of four times during the show Ira is supposed to say something like "Your listening to Science Friday on NPR." This is a station opt-out which means your local station can break away from the program to bring you news updates, another program, or the ever popular fun-drive.

Ira's constant sluring of words makes it difficult to get a clean break form the show. It sounds like "Your listening to Science Friday on NPRrrrrrrrrrrrbut Mr Blestinick, please tell me about hot dog clon-Support for Science Friday on WOLD is provided by Jim's tree repair."

Also the show is the best thing that ever happened to poor old ToTN. They talk about the neatest stuff you've ever heard. But we in Minnesota only get the first hour of SciFri these days, and I am almost always working at 1PM.

Damn.

Living in Iowa

A Photo Tribute:






Babies Nathan & Nicolette with their older sister, Abby, and Uncle Dave.













My other Niece, Lauren, looking happy if not somewhat mischevious.












Anne at the Iowa State Fair. Slightly intoxicated?














My parent's embarassing, grub-infested, front lawn.













Lauren, Mommy, and Uncle Dave.

Days of Thunder

Out with the old



And in with the new



My Iowa hometown, Newton, is hoping this raceway will keep away desperate times after Maytag Corporation, the town's largest employer, was purchased by Whirpool. The new owners have announced plans to close the factory in Newton, as well as the old corporate headquaters.

So now its a racing town. I was visiting my parents this weekend, and my mother took me out to the construction site for the new track. In a weird way it was kind of impressive. I mean, I don't give two hoots about racing, but the track itself is actually kinda pretty to see. Also, if you're into this kinda thing, Lynard Skinnard is doing a rock and roll show at the new "speedway" in October. With 38 Special and the Charlie Daniel's Band. Rock out with your cock out dude.

Here's the tracks webcam if you are bored.

I three the sandbox

My mother belongs to a teaching organization called PEO. At least she used to. As a child, I would regularly be upset to tantrums because PEO is one of those kind of clubs where you aren't allowed to tell anyone what "PEO" acronymizes. I used to go into terrible rages when my mother, my own kin, would not divulge this secret. I'm pretty sure I damaged a lot of furniture. If only she had told me. Think of the money my parents would have saved. Plus my therapist says this conflict is a source of some seriously deep issues.*

To this day I'm not entirely sure what PEO actually means, although I can venture to guess it's something like "Promoting Educational Opportunities."

Speaking of childhood tantrums, I hated going to church on Sundays. I specifically remember one Sunday I was feeling a little extra devious, so I hid from my parents in my closet (I know) for what felt like several hours. Of course, that was several hours of child hiding. So it was probably about 5 minutes. But I still got in a lot of trouble. And yes, I had to go to church that day as well.

Thankfully, sometime in late elementary my parents gave up on attending church regularly. Don't worry though, I found Jesus by myself in High School. Although I became quite the little hate-monger, I still avoided actual church services as often as possible. I just couldn't be asked. God and I were tight anyways -- he said it was ok.

*This is a lie

PR3 Update

The third season of Bravo's smash hit, Project Runway, is in full swing. Here's my completely valid, worthwhile opinion of how the show is going so far.

I'm thrilled to report that the production team listened to viewer complaints, and the amount of over-dubing has been dramatically reduced. Or at least there is added attention to making the dubbing more seamless. Get it? Seamless?

This year's cast is by far the most competitive yet. Aside from the chick who was auf'd on the first episode, there are no clear weak links. Sure, some people may not like a particular designer's style, but in terms of ability and creativity I think there's a lot of parity this go around. Also, the characters seem more genuinely interesting as individuals that PR2. These people are interesting without gimmicks from the producers. Which leads me to my next observation...

There are way too many gimmicks from the producers this year. Most notably, the contestants used materials from their apartments for the first challenge. When they returned home from the workroom expecting to find newly furnished apartments, they were surprised to learn the rooms had not been remade.

I love Tim Gunn as much as the next openly gay American, but I have to say it feels as if he's getting paid for every utterance of his trademark "Make it work" and "Carry On" catch phrases. Obviously he's used these phrases liberally throughout the first two seasons, but they always felt like a natural part of the conversation. Now it often feels awkward and unnatural when he says it. Maybe he's just become ultra conscious of the phrases, and now feels uncomfortable saying them without first giving a little wink to the camera.

So who's my early pick for the winner? Its so early in the season that the show has only had time to concentrate on a few of the contestants. But from what I've seen so far, I like Bradley as a possible sleeper candidate for the win. I'd guess he'll be joined in the final three by Jeffrey and Uli.

Watch what happens!

Wanker

We should really have more television like this in the US. I wonder if there we be an online version. Janet Jackson, you are off the hook.

(SP?)

Funny Blogger Spell-checker can't recognize these words:

Blog

Weblog

Blogger

Wal-Mart

Supercalafragalistic

The Central Front of the War on Terror

It's not Iraq people, it's Wal-Mart.

The rEPuBlicaN strategist on ATC this evening said she hopes people think about National Security when choosing the elephant or the donkey at the polls in November. She also continuously repeated the phrases "Central Front of the War on Terror(TM)" and "cut and run" in regards to Iraq. Next thing we'll be hearing about what a "flip-floper" John Kerry is.

Oh wait a second, that was the last election. I guess things are going just peachy enough for the rEPuBlicaNs that they decided not to change any of their catch phrases this go 'round. Seriously though, I realize the Dems don't exactly have a coherent, alternative strategy for dealing with Iraq but if I were a Republican I wouldn't be hanging my hat on National Security keeping the good old boys in office.

The best thing Democratic candidates can do is keep their mouths shut and let the elephants bury themselves with sound bites that have the public thoroughly annoyed.

And then they can have a go at running the country into more and more desperate times.

But God still hates Fags, at least the rEPuBlicaNs still have him(or her?) on their side.

Toys for Tots

I have a new toy. It's no expensive electronic drum set, but its still a new toy.


Voila!

My new digital audio recorder. This will be great for recording all those field reports I file with NPR; in addition to supporting my new podcast, The Potatoes of Edelbaum. You can just search for PoE on your favorite podcast-getter.*

No, I am going to use this thingy for something -- I'm just not exactly sure what at this time. Maybe I'll use it to record chapters of public domain books for the elderly. Maybe I'll start taking dictation at work. Maybe I'll use it to smuggle narcotics from Japan. Or maybe, just maybe I'll use it to collect dust on my coffee table.

Any way you put it, I'm excited about the possibilities.


*(I don't file stories for NPR, and I do not have a podcast)