Do the Right Thing

Cupcake, Rick, and I had a conversation over dinner last weekend about first dates. Specifically, what we talk about when first meeting a new person. Because I am shallow, I decided long ago that what really counts in assessing a potential mate is what he likes, not to be confused with what he is like. That is to say my questions generally revolve around possible interests: books, music, films, television shows, politics, etc. If I deem the candidate's taste worthy, then he's in. If he's into Keney Chesney and loves watching reruns of The Nanny, then he's out.

Cupcake is somewhat less shallow than me, and as such talks about subjects that might learn you something about a person. She likes to ask about family: brothers, sisters, parents, godparents. For Cupcake, this strategy seems to pay off, but it does have some pitfalls. There is a finite amount of family information a person is comfortable divulging on a first date, and one must be rather careful to avoid crossing into a vein of conversation that runs dangerously close to this tolerance level. Go too far, and you've ended the date -immediately. Also, that person will forever recall you as "just creepy."

Here's a tested example of a question not to ask on a first date: "So, which of your parents do you want to die first?" The answer was definitive, but not in the intended way. In defense, the question is taken slightly out of context, but it's better if I don't go explaining it away.