Milking cows & making babies.

My first two days in six words or less. (Yeah, I can still listen to 'As it Happens' in Wisconsin)

Day 1: "Oh my god, I'm totally screwed."

Day 2: "Hey, maybe this isn't so bad."

I'm doing a marathon house-hunting day tomorrow. I'll be looking for a new place to call home from 8am until 5pm. I haven't made it outside of my hotel room except to go to work or get fast food. I have two televisions in a suite that is no more than 500 square feet. King size bed, love seat, microwave, mini-fridge, and coffee pot. This is my life for the next 30 days. Thankfully, the hotel gets BRAVO.

My store is full of women. Some of whom I understand find me on the attractive side. No one even suspects that I might not be interested. This is superb. Can't wait to come out. Maybe I'll bring in a cake.

When the Patriots go Marching in

Well it's officially official. The original Patriot of Europe is moving to an undisclosed location in Wisconsin to extend my dream-fulfilling career as a sales manager for America's Gift Headquarters!

INCONCEIVABLE!

Don't worry though, I'll still be able to post poorly thought out, poorly written, and poorly edited blog entries from my new home. In fact, there's a chance I'll be so bored the postings will increase. And if we're all lucky, they might even improve a bit. But probably not.

In the short-term don't expect to see much on this site though. I report to my new assignment on Oct. 30. Then I've got a month or two to hastily search for a home. Me thinks I'll be buying a place, so if you jet-setters ever have a layover in my fair city (you won't), you can stay at my Lilly pad.

Viva Gay Wisconsin! This is gonna be one heck of an experiment.

The cats are dead?

Read it while I'm slaving over hot dish.

Also, cats in sinks from UK Tom., who also brings us this disturbing image.

What's wrong with him?

Sesame Smoke

There is a certain smoking lounge, in a certain mall, in a certain city, with a mural of Sesame Street characters on the wall. Elmo's on the bar stool in the corner. Grover is roller-skating along the sidewalk. Big Bird stands next to the stairs to his apartment. Oscar ad his trash can are on the opposite side of the steps. A bird is perched on the lightpost bearing said street's name. Ernie sits on the steps, and Burt is trying to avoid being hit by the roller-skating Grover.

All have a friendly smile. All wave happily at the mural's observer.

Let's not even talk about how remarkable it is for this mall to still have a smoking lounge in a city where carrying a pack of cigarettes in to a public building is a felony. Once-upon-a-time, this smoking lounge was a children's salon. The barber's chair and all the children are long gone, but the mural remains.

I've always wanted to put a cigarette into the waving hand of each sesame street character, and take a picture. It really would be a profound statement. And also, it would be funny. To me.

Did I already write a post about this? I can't remember.

Mission Accomplised

Here's the last photos ever to be taken by my point-and-shoot. These pics survived, but the camera did not. It's ok Andy -- I won't not be your friend anymore.

Flash Slideshow

Found it!

At the risk of seeming overly dependent on YouTube for content, I present the much-talked-about, never-before-seen* Outback Steakhouse commercial featuring that nifty Of Montreal song...well, lets call it variations on a theme.




*on this blog

Ah, F%ck it!

YouTube: A blogger with nothing to say's best friend. Come to think of it, when do I ever have much of anything to say? Why exactly do you keep coming back to this PoS web site?