David Sedaris has a good bit about retail defecation. I know it sounds strange, but if you ask anyone who has worked extensively in the field you will certainly hear an entertaining story. This kind of thing is usually attributed to either the very old or the very young. But occasionally a nice turd shoes up somewhere in the store thanks to one of our demented, malicious, or angry customers.
I bring this up because today a little boy pissed on one of the ottomans from the home department. It's no shit, but a coordinating separate if you will. Luckily we also sell a pet urine eliminator in the home department. A couple of spritzs and the ottoman was as good as new.
In other news of the bizarre, today our security team stopped a man trying to leave the store wearing a pair of pants he hadn't purchased. The man was very drunk, and could not remember where he put the pants he wore into the store. One of our supervisors had to search all the fitting rooms to try to find this man's pants. She couldn't. I didn't stick around to see the end of this story, but the image of our security team escorting a pant-less man out of the store is a good enough ending for me.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Qu'est que vous fait le weekend?
I'll tell you what I did. I went shopping. To the Room & Board outlet. Not once, but twice. And did I buy anything? Well no. But I did see these bar stools, which would be perfect for my new place, if they weren't $170 each. Damn.
I spent Saturday night with myself and Woody Allen. Crimes and Misdemeanors to be exact. What a fun movie. I'm not certain about this, but I think the mother from Six Feet Under, Ruth, has a small part in the film. I'm pretty sure she is the woman who now lives in the childhood home of Judah and Jack.
Sunday was reserved for an outing to Target, Costco, Home Depot, and the second trip to the R&B outlet. Plus Rick and Joe came over to watch the least anticipated Superbowl ever. My vote for the best commercial goes to the Sprint/Nextel one with the Benny Hill reference. Funny stuff. Everything else about that 5 hour pageant was crap.
I spent Saturday night with myself and Woody Allen. Crimes and Misdemeanors to be exact. What a fun movie. I'm not certain about this, but I think the mother from Six Feet Under, Ruth, has a small part in the film. I'm pretty sure she is the woman who now lives in the childhood home of Judah and Jack.
Comedy = Tragedy + Time.
He tied me up and then he went to the bathroom on me.
If it bends it's funny, if it breaks it's not funny.
Sunday was reserved for an outing to Target, Costco, Home Depot, and the second trip to the R&B outlet. Plus Rick and Joe came over to watch the least anticipated Superbowl ever. My vote for the best commercial goes to the Sprint/Nextel one with the Benny Hill reference. Funny stuff. Everything else about that 5 hour pageant was crap.
Homeland Surveillance
I heard this story on Wait, Wait today. Apparently, the Georgia Department of Homeland Security and the FBI have been monitoring a group of vegans in Atlanta as potential 'threats' to national security. They even arrested one of the protestors after she wrote down the license plate number of the undercover officer's car. (Georgia ACLU)
I can understand why some people feel it is necessary to spy on US Citizens in order to protect the country from a terrorist attack. But then the government goes and does something stupid like this, and reminds all of exactly why we must be so vigilant about protecting civil liberties. Understandably, we don't know all the details of this case. The arrested individuals may have been monitored for some legitimate reason that is as yet undisclosed. But certainly the arrest seems to be illegal.
If it is true that they were being monitored exclusively because they are vegan, then you have to wonder who exactly made the decision to watch these people. Is there no oversight at all? Surely someone in the chain at the FBI would realize this is not a serious threat right? I mean what exactly are they worried about? Vegans exploding bombs outside McDonald's? Even if something like that were to happen, its not likely to be supported by any kind of conventional terrorist cell, it would likely be the work of one or two complete wonks right? I just don't get it.
I can understand why some people feel it is necessary to spy on US Citizens in order to protect the country from a terrorist attack. But then the government goes and does something stupid like this, and reminds all of exactly why we must be so vigilant about protecting civil liberties. Understandably, we don't know all the details of this case. The arrested individuals may have been monitored for some legitimate reason that is as yet undisclosed. But certainly the arrest seems to be illegal.
If it is true that they were being monitored exclusively because they are vegan, then you have to wonder who exactly made the decision to watch these people. Is there no oversight at all? Surely someone in the chain at the FBI would realize this is not a serious threat right? I mean what exactly are they worried about? Vegans exploding bombs outside McDonald's? Even if something like that were to happen, its not likely to be supported by any kind of conventional terrorist cell, it would likely be the work of one or two complete wonks right? I just don't get it.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The New Way?
There's a lot of really interesting politic going on in the countries of South America these days. New nemesis of the Bush administration, Hugo Chavez, today announced he was expelling a ranking US military officer from Venezuela for allegedly spying. Its unclear what the US reaction will be, although we have quite naturally denied any possible wrong-doing.
Chavez represents what I would call the 'old way' of the left-leaning Latin America. His abrasive, isolationist, proletariat v. bourgeoisie style just doesn't cut it in a world where the terrible evil of the Communist state has already been defeated (except for China, of course, but that's a different post). When the whole middle class can now be categorized as at least semi-bourgeoisie, its hard to keep fighting so literally for the little guy. Plus, giant state-owned conglomerates have proven equally, if not more, inefficient than free-market corporations.
That's not to say that people who believe there is an imbalance in the world's economy should just shrug their shoulders and go back to work in the west virginia mines. Fear not ye labourers, the New Way has emerged!
The election of Michelle Bachelet in Chile marks what may be a new twist on socialism (or what used to be called socialism anyway). Here we have a center-left candidate who generally believes in free markets, realizes their shortcomings, and therefore appreciates the ability of a substantial State to help remove inequalities and make peoples daily lives a little bit better. There really is a middle ground between State-owned Monopolies and having no State to speak of (as some in the US would have it).
To be fair, the ideas of communism and socialism were allowed more 'room to grow' in places like South America than they were here in the US. I think here this kind of political strategy would be called "populist" and obviously one could argue that Kerry lost the last election on a populist platform. I rather think Kerry lost the election because he was too articulate for his own good. You just never felt he really believed anything he was saying as a candidate.
Ask your neighbor what he would think about a job where he was more than a .0009% stakeholder. Or if she thinks the government has a responsibility to help provide certain of the most basic needs to individuals. Or if they think being able to effectively compete for jobs in a global economy is important. My money is that most people would be inclined to a positive reaction.
The left doesn't all have to be about gay marriage, or raising your taxes, or obstructionist trade policies. There are sustainable, alternative theories that will appeal to the American public. Now we just need a candidate with the courage to lead a "New Way."
Obama anyone?
Chavez represents what I would call the 'old way' of the left-leaning Latin America. His abrasive, isolationist, proletariat v. bourgeoisie style just doesn't cut it in a world where the terrible evil of the Communist state has already been defeated (except for China, of course, but that's a different post). When the whole middle class can now be categorized as at least semi-bourgeoisie, its hard to keep fighting so literally for the little guy. Plus, giant state-owned conglomerates have proven equally, if not more, inefficient than free-market corporations.
That's not to say that people who believe there is an imbalance in the world's economy should just shrug their shoulders and go back to work in the west virginia mines. Fear not ye labourers, the New Way has emerged!
The election of Michelle Bachelet in Chile marks what may be a new twist on socialism (or what used to be called socialism anyway). Here we have a center-left candidate who generally believes in free markets, realizes their shortcomings, and therefore appreciates the ability of a substantial State to help remove inequalities and make peoples daily lives a little bit better. There really is a middle ground between State-owned Monopolies and having no State to speak of (as some in the US would have it).
To be fair, the ideas of communism and socialism were allowed more 'room to grow' in places like South America than they were here in the US. I think here this kind of political strategy would be called "populist" and obviously one could argue that Kerry lost the last election on a populist platform. I rather think Kerry lost the election because he was too articulate for his own good. You just never felt he really believed anything he was saying as a candidate.
Ask your neighbor what he would think about a job where he was more than a .0009% stakeholder. Or if she thinks the government has a responsibility to help provide certain of the most basic needs to individuals. Or if they think being able to effectively compete for jobs in a global economy is important. My money is that most people would be inclined to a positive reaction.
The left doesn't all have to be about gay marriage, or raising your taxes, or obstructionist trade policies. There are sustainable, alternative theories that will appeal to the American public. Now we just need a candidate with the courage to lead a "New Way."
Obama anyone?
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Skeletons & Closets
It's time I tell you all about one of my well-kept secrets. In college I was in Marching band. That's right, in college. And it was not just any marching band, it was the Iowa State University Cyclone Football "Varsity" Marching Band! (ISUCFVMB) I even have pictures to prove it. Don't I look totally rad?
This all comes up because a long lost friend of mine from said marching band has resurfaced. And as luck would have it, he's right here in the Twin Cities. The day before what is now my 'old' computer crashed, Rick sent me an Instant Message. A remarkable coincidence not only because of the unforeseeable upcoming computer crash, but also because I hadn't seriously used IM in about 2 years.
Rick and I went out last Friday with Chad, Justin, and Corey. Naturally the subject of how we knew one another came up and the boys were shocked to hear that I actually had interests aside from bitching about work - even if those interests had waned several years before. So there you have it, I used to be in a marching band. But hey, at least I wasn't in a college show choir like Chad.
Just for fun, this video is an amazing bit of ISUCFVMB history. It's bizarre, and it is about 13 minutes of your life you will never get back but pretty interesting even if you aren't into that whole "marching around in formation" thing. Seriously, check it out.
Project Runway Comes Out
Not that it's a shocker or anything to learn that the majority of the male designers on PR2 are gay, but tonight was PR2's coming out party! We learned all about Daniel V.'s tough life as a white, middle class gay dude. Pity for him. Of course, Nick was there to join the party as well. And even Tim Gunn was not spared implication. Santino did a pretty funny bit about Andre and Tim on a date at Red Lobster - very much in the vein of something Drew, Joe, and I would come up with if we happened to be contestants. Great Television.
As an update, two of my picks for the final three are still in the mix. Zulema made her exit last week, and Nick is teetering on the edge with Santino. Daniel V on the other hand is almost a lock for the final 3. He just keeps impressing the judges. Allright!
Enough ranting about reality TV.
As an update, two of my picks for the final three are still in the mix. Zulema made her exit last week, and Nick is teetering on the edge with Santino. Daniel V on the other hand is almost a lock for the final 3. He just keeps impressing the judges. Allright!
Enough ranting about reality TV.
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